I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
