You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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