he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize