so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Too much gin, very little bucket
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My vagina is officially offended.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
