What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
