girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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