it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
