i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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