i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
