Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
