shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
