One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
