my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
