I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
