how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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