He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
