I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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