This is not my ceiling
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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