I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
