I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
