pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
