she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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