WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
