That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
