I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
