we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
