He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just had sex on a roof
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize