I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
