You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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