Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
