nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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