Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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