I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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