Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
