The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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