That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
