He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
