Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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