I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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