we have officially lost it.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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