I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
