FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
