Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
