We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
