...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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