so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
