just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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