He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
