How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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