You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
