dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
