I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
