My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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