okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Randomize