it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
