she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
