my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
