do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
