I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
