its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
