I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
