Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
