she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
